"Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience."
"Men don't like nobility in woman. Not any men. I suppose it is because the men like to have the copyrights on nobility -- if there is going to be anything like that in a relationship."
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Source: Dorothy Parker (1970). “A month of Saturdays: thirty-one famous pieces by Constant Reader”
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"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue."
"The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be."
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"I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host."
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician."