"Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience."
"[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe."
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Source: Dorothy Parker (2004). “Dorothy Parker in Her Own Words”, Taylor Trade Publishing
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"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue."
"The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be."
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