"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
"A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie."
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More quotes by Earl Wilson
"This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt."
"Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense."
"One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills."
"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough."
"A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking."