"'Honesty' in social life is often used as a cover for rudeness. But there is quite a difference between being candid in what you're talking about, and people voicing their insulting opinions under the name of honesty."
"Dishonesty is not the only alternative to honesty. There is also the highly underrated virtue of shutting up."
Source: Judith Martin (1982). “Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior”, Scribner
About the author
Judith Martin
Poet
Judith Martin, known as Miss Manners, is a prominent etiquette expert and author, recognized for her influential writings on social conduct.
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More quotes by Judith Martin
"The whole country wants civility. Why don't we have it? It doesn't cost anything. No federal funding, no legislation is involved. One answer is the unwillingness to restrain oneself. Everybody wants other people to be polite to them, but they want the freedom of not having to be polite to others."
"Most people who work at home find they do not have the benefit of receptionists who serve as personal guards"
"The dinner table is the center for the teaching and practicing not just of table manners but of conversation, consideration, tolerance, family feeling, and just about all the other accomplishments of polite society except the minuet."
"Indeed, Miss Manners has come to believe that the basic political division in this country is not between liberals and conservatives but between those who believe that they should have a say in the love lives of strangers and those who do not."
"GENTLE READER: You, sir, are an anarchist, and Miss Manners is frightened to have anything to do with you. It is true that questioning the table manners of others is rude. But to overthrow the accepted conventions of society, on the flimsy grounds that you have found them silly, inefficient and discomforting, is a dangerous step toward destroying civilization."