"It is hard to convince people of this, but oatmeal truly is miraculous. It gives you an amazing amount of energy, like cocaine."
"One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it's a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like pandas?"
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Source: Kelly Williams Brown (2013). “Adulting: How to Become a Grown-up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps”, p.63, Hachette UK
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"You're a grown up, and you get to decide what behaviors affect you for five minutes versus what behaviors change you as a person."
"A slightly modified version of the Serenity Prayer: Lord, grant me the serenity to ignore the assholes I cannot avoid; The luck to avoid the ones I can; And the self-awareness not to be one myself"
"Here is what I'm trying to tell you: Adult isn't a noun, it's a verb. It's the act of making correctly those small decisions that fill our day. It is one that you can practice, and that can be done in concrete steps. And if you slip up and have Diet Coke for breakfast, no one busts in and snatches away your Adult card. Just move forward and have milk tomorrow."
"Meaning to send a thank-you note but then not doing it is exactly the same as never thinking to send one - that person is still receiving zero thank you notes."
"Intentions are nice, but ultimately intentions don't really matter because they only exist inside you."