"Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best."
"Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count."
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Source: Peter's People and Their Marvelous Ideas. Book by Dr. Laurence J. Peter, 1979.
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"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit."
"Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest."
"The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store."
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"Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet."