"Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best."
"No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech."
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Source: Abe Martin's Primer: The Collected Writings of Abe Martin and his Brown County, Indiana, Neighbors. Book by Kin Hubbard, 1914.
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"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit."
"Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest."
"The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store."
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket."
"Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet."