"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."
"Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!"
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Source: Mark Twain, Gary Scharnhorst (2006). “Mark Twain: The Complete Interviews”, p.422, University of Alabama Press
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