"I had a werewolf morning. Awoke with a rum hangover, imagined blood on the walls, and prayed to god it was mine."
"Never whine about the French. It's considered a sign of weakness to even acknowledge their existence. Remember: The poor devils haven't won anything since they rebuffed the Kaiser at Marne. Irritating the world into submission is their only hope. Ignore them when you can, agree with them when you can't - but never, ever make eye contact. Particularly after dark."
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"It is a fact that scientists have deposited dye in certain lakes around Orlando and tracked the effluent to Florida Bay. There is a lake near Everglades City, Deep Lake, and large tarpon show up in that lake, 30 miles from the sea."
"In any conflict the boundaries of behavior are defined by the party that cares the least about morality"
"People with the boat bug are never happier than when they are poking around marinas, fantasizing about owning other people's boats. It's a disease that costs more to cure than any other single common learning disability."