"Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste."
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More quotes by Wes Smith
"Never trust a woman whose father calls her 'Princess'. Chances are she believes it."
"There is no such thing as a self-cleaning oven."
"A $20 haircut hardly ever lasts longer than a $5 haircut."
"Seek but provision of bread and wine, fools to flatter, and clothing fine; and nothing of God shall ever be thine."
"The chief beneficiary of life insurance policies for young, single people is the life insurance agent."