"I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be."
"It's worth turning up to an awards gig if you know you've won one but, since you never do know, it's not worth it."
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Source: Arthur Smith by Arthur Smith, www.theguardian.com. April 3, 2002.
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"The outfits come and go but there is a constant that I like about the catwalk model: the snotty expression."
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"I see my large nose, like half an avocado. I broke it falling downstairs when I was six, and it now resembles a large blob of play-dough."