"People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise."
"Buddy Hackett [was] talking - this is Hackett, not me - about the Virgin Mary, a limerick sort of thing, and all these children and families ... the look of absolute horror. He's going on and on and on, and finally he stops. It's just total horror, and the camera's still rolling. You can hear it, sort of a grinding noise. And the director says, "Anything else, Bud?""
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"Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop."
"The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself."
"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood."
"I'm a nut, but not just a nut."
"Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you've met and you're like, 'Yep, I like this one,' and you just do stuff with them."