"After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash my Y-fronts for a month."
"I was taking my dog out the other day and I met this chap who asked me where I was going. The dog is foaming at the mouth, so I explained that I was on my way to the vet to have it put down. He asked if it was mad, to which I replied that it wasn't exactly pleased about it."
45 likes
Source: One-line genius by Duncan Campbell, www.theguardian.com. March 16, 2007.
About the author
Same author
More quotes by Chic Murray
"I dreamt I was forced to eat 25lb of marshmallows. When I woke up, my pillow was missing."
"So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it.""
"The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder."
"She's a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right."
"It was a pretty posh place. They were so used to fur coats that two bears strolled in and ordered lunch and nobody even noticed."