"Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right."
"I'm certainly not a linguist. I learned what languages I could learn in order to read books and I can't really speak them. I couldn't have stayed out of jail in most of them."
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More quotes by Clive James
"Snooker is just chess with balls."
"The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB"
"A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't"
"It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are."
"A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all."