"Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right."
"When you cut it up, put the pieces in your mouth and swallowed them, the British hamburger shaped itself to the bottom on your stomach like ballast, while interacting with your gastric juices to form an incipient belch of enormous potential, an airship which had been inflated in a garage. This belch, when silently released, would cause people standing twenty yards away to start examining the soles of their shoes. The vocalized version sounded like a bag of tools thrown into a bog."
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Source: Clive James (1991). “Falling Towards England: (Unreliable Memoirs Continued)”, Isis Large Print Books
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"Snooker is just chess with balls."
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