"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."
"I am a one-trick pony. If you tell most people to draw a picture of a tree, they'd draw 35 branches and 10,000 leaves. I will draw you a tree with four branches and three leaves, and I'll spend the rest of the week drawing inside of each leaf. In terms of the grand gesture, I reserve that maximum turbo blast energy for what I do as an artist, and I sing and dance for dinner."
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More quotes by David Lee Roth
"Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it."
"I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle."
"If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?"
"The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!"
"When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's."