"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."
"I know that people think I'm a party king; but, face it, if I finished the bottle every time I took a drink, I wouldn't be able to do the aerials I do onstage."
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Source: Share Your World With Neil Cavuto, June 16, 2006.
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"Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it."
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"If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?"
"The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!"
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