"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."
"Many of the critics have kids of their own. It scares the hell out of them to think that their kids could be anything remotely like David Lee Roth."
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Source: Roth 'N' Roll: Flashy - But David's A Shrewd Businessman. Brett Thomas, The Sun-Herald (Section: News and Features), October 16, 1988.
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"If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?"
"The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!"
"When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's."