"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
"In a tuxedo, I'm a star. In regular clothes, I'm a nobody."
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Source: The Classic With a Twist, www.esquire.com. February 22, 2017.
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"The whole world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up, down two aspirin with a glass of tomato juice, and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about."
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"I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor."