"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
"It was a woman who drove me to drink. Come to think of it, I never did hang around to thank her for that. 'Hey lady! Do I look all blurry to you? 'Cause you look blurry to me!'"
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More quotes by Dean Martin
"The whole world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up, down two aspirin with a glass of tomato juice, and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about."
"When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table."
"When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore."
"If this is just the beginning, my life's gonna be beautiful."
"I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor."