"Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer."
Read quote
3 likes
Quote collection
Douglas Adams quotes (page 24 of 29)
578 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"To Trin Tragula's horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to his satisfaction he realized that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion."
Read quote
3 likes
"Zaphod felt he was teetering on the edge of madness and wondered if he shouldn't just jump over and have done with it."
Read quote
3 likes
"I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my life-style"
Read quote
3 likes
"The future of computer power is pure simplicity."
Read quote
3 likes
"Stomp stomp. Whirr. Pleased to be of service. Shut up. Thank you. Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. Thank you for making a simple door very happy. Hope your diodes rot. Thank you. Have a nice day. Stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. It is my pleasure to open for you... Zark off. ...and my satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done. I said zark off. Thank you for listening to this message."
Read quote
3 likes
"The lights went out in his eyes for absolutely the very last time ever."
Read quote
3 likes
"Why?' is always the most difficult question to answer. You know where you are when someone asks you 'What's the time?' or 'When was the battle of 1066?' or 'How do these seatbelts work that go tight when you slam the brakes on, Daddy?' The answers are easy and are, respectively, 'Seven-thirty in the evening,' 'Ten-fifteen in the morning,' and 'Don't ask stupid questions."
Read quote
3 likes
"I was created to fulfill a function and I failed in it. I negated my own existence."
Read quote
3 likes
"Capital Letters Were Always The Best Way Of Dealing With Things You Didn't Have A Good Answer To."
Read quote
3 likes
"Don't blame you," said Marvin and counted five hundred and ninety-seven thousand million sheep before falling asleep again a second later."
Read quote
3 likes
"The light was only just visible - except of course that there was no one to see, no witnesses, not this time, but it was nevertheless a light."
Read quote
3 likes
"Come on,” he droned, “I’ve been ordered to take you down to the bridge. Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? ’Cos I don’t.” He turned and walked back to the hated door. “Er, excuse me,” said Ford following after him, “which government owns this ship?” Marvin ignored him. “You watch this door,” he muttered, “it’s about to open again. I can tell by the intolerable air of smugness it suddenly generates."
Read quote
3 likes
"Yes, it is true that sometimes unusually intelligent and sensitive children can appear to be stupid. But stupid children can sometimes appear to be stupid as well. I think that's something you might have to consider."
Read quote
3 likes
"Exactly!" said Deep Thought. "So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means."
Read quote
3 likes
"It takes a long time before we really get to grips with this [Darwin's 'On the Origin of Species'] and begin to understand it, because not only does it seem incredible and thoroughly demeaning to us, but it's yet another shock to our system to discover that not only are we not the centre of the Universe and we're not made by anything, but we started out as some kind of slime and got to where we are via being a monkey. It just doesn't read well."
Read quote
3 likes
"Imagine" he said, "never even thinking, 'We are alone,' simply because it has never occurred to you to think that there's any other way to be."
Read quote
3 likes
"He sniggered. He didn't like to think of himself as the sort of person who giggled or sniggered, but he had to admit that he had been giggling and sniggering almost continuously for well over half an hour now."
Read quote
3 likes
"Science fiction that's just about people wandering around in space ships shooting each other with ray guns is very dull. I like it when it enables you to do fairly radical reinterpretations of human experience, just to show all the different interpretations that can be put on apparently fairly simple and commonplace events. That I find fun."
Read quote
3 likes
"I'm so great even I get tongue-tied talking to myself."
Read quote
3 likes