"Think before you speak. Read before you think."
"I have a double policy, which would also solve immigration: I would stand at the border of New York City and I would say, "You can come here to live, but you can't come here to visit.""
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"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."
"My favorite animal is steak."
"The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive."
"A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain."
"As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."