"Think before you speak. Read before you think."
"Life is so absurd now that it is almost impossible to be a satirist in this era."
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"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."
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"The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive."
"A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain."
"As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."