"Think before you speak. Read before you think."
"Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met."
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"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."
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"The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive."
"A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain."
"As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."