"Think before you speak. Read before you think."
"You don't have to lay an egg to know if it tastes good."
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"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."
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"A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain."
"As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."