"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
"I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it."
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Source: Groucho Marx (2000). “The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx”, Vintage
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