Abraham Lincoln
Political Leader
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
Sarcastic quotes
Sarcastic
907 quotes on this topic — from poets, philosophers, and thinkers across history.
Oscar Wilde
Writer
"Women are made to be loved, not understood."
George Carlin
Comedian, Actor
"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?"
Mark Twain
Writer, Humorist
"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself."
Groucho Marx
Actor, Comedian, Writer
"If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you."
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Browse quotes that often appear alongside sarcastic — connected by shared ideas and recurring themes.
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Sarcastic quotes (page 1 of 46)
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"I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress."
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"I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!"
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"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."
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"Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber."
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"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well."
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"What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself."
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"Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it."
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"Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship."
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184 likes
"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."
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"If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?"
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"Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?"
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"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
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"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."
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"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
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"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."
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"You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else."
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"The empty vessel makes the loudest sound."
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"Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it."
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"They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning."
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"The lack of money is the root of all evil."
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