"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
"I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract."
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Source: Fictional character: Captain Jeffrey Spaulding. Animal Crackers, August 20, 1930.
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