"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
"Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it."
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Source: Duck Soup (motion picture) (1933). Screenplay by Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby.
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