"Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined."
"They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them."
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Source: Politically Incorrect Oscar Jokes Through the Years, www.hollywoodreporter.com. February 26, 2016.
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"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."
"When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist."
"Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die."
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