"In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out."
Read quote
7 likes
Quote collection
Joseph Heller quotes (page 4 of 8)
155 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he's in his office."
Read quote
7 likes
"I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me."
Read quote
7 likes
"When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'"
Read quote
7 likes
"I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning"
Read quote
7 likes
"It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead."
Read quote
6 likes
"When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering."
Read quote
6 likes
"How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?"
Read quote
6 likes
"Sure, that's what I mean,' Doc Daneeka said. 'A little grease is what makes this world go round. One hand washes the other. Know what I mean? You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.' Yossarian knew what he meant. That's not what I meant,' Doc Daneeka said, as Yossarian began scratching his back."
Read quote
6 likes
"They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady."
Read quote
6 likes
"They're trying to kill me," Yossarian told him calmly. No one's trying to kill you," Clevinger cried. Then why are they shooting at me?" Yossarian asked. They're shooting at everyone," Clevinger answered. "They're trying to kill everyone." And what difference does that make?"
Read quote
6 likes
"Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him."
Read quote
6 likes
"Fortunately, just when things were blackest, the war broke out."
Read quote
6 likes
"I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings."
Read quote
6 likes
"Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?"
Read quote
6 likes
"From now on I'm thinking only of me." Major Danby replied indulgently with a superior smile: "But, Yossarian, suppose everyone felt that way." "Then," said Yossarian, "I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?"
Read quote
6 likes
"When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don't see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy."
Read quote
6 likes
""What would they do to me," he asked in confidential tones, "if I refused to fly them?" "We'd probably shoot you," ex-P.F.C. Wintergreen replied. "We?" Yossarian cried in surprise. "What do you mean, we? Since when are you on their side?" "If you're going to be shot, whose side do you expect me to be on?" ex-P.F.C. Wintergreen retorted."
Read quote
6 likes
"The enemy," retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, "is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live."
Read quote
6 likes
"That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed. It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed."
Read quote
6 likes