"If there is a heaven, Jane Austen is sitting in a small room with Mother Teresa and Princess Diana, listening to Duran Duran, forever. If there's a hell, she's standing."
"The problem with being Irish... is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times."
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More quotes by Roddy Doyle
"I'm not recognised that much. I'm just a bald man in glasses and there's a rash of them in Dublin. It'd be different if I had a mohican."
"You know people are always putting Ulysses in the top 10 books ever written but I doubt that any of those people were really moved by it."
"It's a big con job. We have sold the myth of Dublin as a sexy place incredibly well; because it is a dreary little dump most of the time."
"I see people in terms of dialogue and I believe that people are their talk."
"Some of the people who look the most normal are probably the maddest people trying to look normal."