"By puberty I learned that nothing worth having could be easily attained and to succeed one must be single minded."
"It was crushingly disappointing as a fan of The Simpsons to discover that it's just you in a room speaking into a microphone. I thought I was going to become friends with Homer Simpson, but unfortunately none of them are real."
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More quotes by Russell Brand
"I like threesomes with two women, not because I'm a cynical sexual predator. Oh no! But because I'm a romantic. I'm looking for "The One." And I'll find her more quickly if I audition two at a time."
"As long as we prioritize material truths over spiritual truths we will live in tyranny because we are living an illusion"
"You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from the idea that people are watching you."
"I get fixated when I'm bleeding -- I can see why they went in for blood-letting in the medieval times because it makes you feel a bit better. When I cut myself, the drama of it calms me down."
"I regret that I didn’t realize that actually they’ve got no power over you at school — it’s all just a trick to indoctrinate you into being a conditioned, tame, placid citizen. Rebel, children, I urge you, fight the turgid slick of conformity with which they seek to smother your glory."