"Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!'"
"I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb."
9 likes
Source: Russell Jacoby (1975). “Social Amnesia: A Critique of Conformist Psychology from Adler to Laing”, Beacon Pr
About the author
Same author
More quotes by Russell Howard
"Music's the best thing we do as humans, isn't it? Music, I mean you flail your limbs, make you move in a way you don't understand. Or it can make you weep like a sailor's wife staring at a storm."
"So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided it would be the ideal moment to say - 'Guess what everyone in this jacuzzi has in common? You've all sucked on my tits.'"
"The Bible says gays arent natural. What, and a talking snake is?!"
"I lived with a guy who had OCD and I used to put Rice Krispies in his slippers before I went out. He went mental, but not before he counted them all."
"Are you recycling? Are you!? You just killed a polar bear! YOU!"