"Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!'"
About the author
Russell Howard
Comedian, Actor
Russell Howard is a British comedian and television presenter known for his sharp wit and insightful commentary on life, often drawn from personal experiences.
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More quotes by Russell Howard
"Music's the best thing we do as humans, isn't it? Music, I mean you flail your limbs, make you move in a way you don't understand. Or it can make you weep like a sailor's wife staring at a storm."
"So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided it would be the ideal moment to say - 'Guess what everyone in this jacuzzi has in common? You've all sucked on my tits.'"
"The Bible says gays arent natural. What, and a talking snake is?!"
"I lived with a guy who had OCD and I used to put Rice Krispies in his slippers before I went out. He went mental, but not before he counted them all."
"Are you recycling? Are you!? You just killed a polar bear! YOU!"