"My whole act is confession."
"If you've never met a student from the University of Chicago, I'll describe him to you. If you give him a glass of water, he says, 'This is a glass of water. But is it a glass of water? And if it is a glass of water, why is it a glass of water?' And eventually he dies of thirst."
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More quotes by Shelley Berman
"As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian."
"The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so."
"The Steve Allen Sunday night show had the right to two options after my first performance."
"As a culture I see us as presently deprived of subtleties. The music is loud, the anger is elevated, sex seems lacking in sweetness and privacy."
"Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form."