"Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease."
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Quote collection
Terry Pratchett quotes (page 21 of 72)
1.4K quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"What can the harvest hope for..."
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"It was the heart of any scam or fiddle -- keep the punter uncertain, or, if he is certain, make him certain of the wrong thing."
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"...the proliferation of luminous fungi or iridescent crystals in deep caves where the torchlessly improvident hero needs to see is one of the most obvious intrusions of narrative causality into the physical universe."
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"Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong."
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"The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip."
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"The reaper does not listen to the harvest."
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"What's the orbital velocity of the moon?"
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"I intend, before the endgame looms, to die sitting in a chair in my own garden with a glass of brandy in my hand and Thomas Tallis on the iPod. Oh, and since this is England, I had better add, "If wet, in the library." Who could say that this is bad?"
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"Life is just chemicals. A drop here, a drip there, everything's changed. A mere dribble of fermented juices and sudenlly you're going to live another few hours."
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"Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful."
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"The merest accident of microgeography had meant that the first man to hear the voice of Om, and who gave Om his view of humans, was a shepherd and not a goatherd. They have quite different ways of looking at the world, and the whole of history might have been different. For sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led."
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"There are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do."
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"I'm not the world's greatest expert, but I would have thought that the wizards, witches, trolls, unicorns, ... broomsticks and spells would have given her a clue?' - when J.K. Rowling insisted she wasn't writing fantasy."
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"Inside every lump of coal there's a diamond waiting to get out."
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"Adventure! People talked about the idea as if it were something worthwhile, rather than a mess of bad food, no sleep and strange people inexplicably trying to stick pointed objects in bits of you."
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"Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT." Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them."
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"In the world I live in, 'not worse' is nearly as good as 'better'."
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"This book was written using 100% recycled words."
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"Either all days are holy or none are."
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