"Environmentalists have a very conflicted relationship with their cars."
"It's pretty lonely and sad to be single. Every night was the same for me, I'd go home and curl up in bed with my favorite book. Well, actually it was a magazine."
3 likes
About the author
Same author
More quotes by Tom Arnold
"Dating is so insecure. My last relationship, I was always there for her and she dumped me. I told her about it. I said, "Remember when your grandma died? I was there. Remember when you flunked out of school? I was there. Remember when you lost your job? I was there!" She said, "I know"
"My wife's nagging is like living near the airport. After a while you don't notice it any more."
"People still question my sobriety, my commitment to the program, and that hurts. I take things day by day, and sometimes I take them minute by minute, but I honor my commitment to stay sober."
"Any time your head explodes, that's not a good situation."
"Women; can't live with em, can't kill em"