"Everyone knows that senior citizens are stupid"
"I had a real passion for performing. I craved the attention. I was a goofy kid just like I am a goofy adult. So as soon as I got the bug of getting laughs and getting on stage I just couldn't stop."
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More quotes by Tom Green
"It's exciting to be able to do something completely independent without anybody challenging it, and it's a big part of the reason why I'm enjoying doing the stand-up comedy, is I'm able to go out and interact with people one-on-one after the show. It's very punk-rock."
"I considered myself a professional comedian because the club would pay me $20."
"I tend to sit around with my friends a lot and rant and rave about things I think are ridiculous in the world, and I tend to make fun of myself a lot."
"If prosecutors in the state of Utah continue on the path they are on in seeking us out, I hate to tell you what might happen. To put it bluntly - the mountains could come down upon them. I think they are going to get shook up. I think we are in store for a lot of things if we don't reprent and return to the way of God."
"I tend to find comedy in dark places. I also tend to find comedy in taking on the status quo - which has always been something I find important."