"Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets."
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Quote collection
Tracy Morgan quotes (page 1 of 6)
114 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality."
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"And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly."
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"They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F*** that -- when opportunity knocks, you should take it captive. Beat that s*** down. I've got opportunity tied to a chair in my basement with a ball gag in its mouth. Opportunity ain't even thinking about leaving my house. If you keep quiet for a second, you'll hear it whining."
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"Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses."
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"I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets."
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"I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me."
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"Fame doesn't matter. Money doesn't matter. Those things are forever fleeting. I just want to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, so that when I'm long gone my great-great-grandchildren can walk up to it and say, "That's my ancestor." That will be my legacy."
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"Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life."
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"I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that."
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"The truth is if I had a gay son, I would love him just as much as if he was straight… I might have to try to love even more because I know of the difficulty that he would have in society."
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"My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back.""
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"In my heart, I really don't care who you love, same sex or not; as long as you have the ability to love, that's the important thing here."
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"I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant."
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"Eddie [Murphy] is an icon. He's one of the reason why I started doing comedy in the beginning. He opened a lot of doors for black people."
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"Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show business. You don't have no band and there's no music."
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"Michael's the ultimate entertainer. After Michael Jackson, it's Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, and Bruce Lee."
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"I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me."
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"I've got to show life as I see it."
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"Live every week like it's shark week."
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