"Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets."
"I give [Barack Obama] a 10 [on a scale of 1 to 10] because he's not God, and he inherited a couple of wars, and a financial mess.I want to see him curse somebody out on TV. You can't finesse a bull. He's gotta throw down. He's in the shark tank."
3 likes
About the author
Same author
More quotes by Tracy Morgan
"My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality."
"And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly."
"They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F*** that -- when opportunity knocks, you should take it captive. Beat that s*** down. I've got opportunity tied to a chair in my basement with a ball gag in its mouth. Opportunity ain't even thinking about leaving my house. If you keep quiet for a second, you'll hear it whining."
"Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses."
"I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets."