"Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets."
"When a child is born, it's born with a heart of gold, but the way of this world can turn that heart cold. I'm still a good person, and I thank God for that - He's working with me on it."
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Source: Tracy Morgan On Being 'The New Black'. Fresh Air with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. October 22, 2009.
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"My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality."
"And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly."
"They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F*** that -- when opportunity knocks, you should take it captive. Beat that s*** down. I've got opportunity tied to a chair in my basement with a ball gag in its mouth. Opportunity ain't even thinking about leaving my house. If you keep quiet for a second, you'll hear it whining."
"Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses."
"I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets."