Quote collection
194 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"I don't answer fan mail. I don't have time for that. It's like hundreds of thousands of people who think they're going to become millionaires getting autographs from movie actors. I don't have time for those idiots. I've got stuff to do."
"I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think."
"The human condition means that we can zone out and forget what the hell we're doing."
"If people really want to find you, they find you."
"You want my dark side? Have I ever stolen anything? Not so much intentionally. But I don't think it's so much stealing as... being a part of the flow of the universe. You know, where there's an exchange. It's positive. It's negative. There's an exchange of goods and services."
"I’ve killed myself so many times, I don’t even exist anymore."
"Afghanistan is just one of those countries that no group can conquer. It's so challenging to live, and the people are so close among their own tribes, their own groups, that you can't rule them all, you can't get an accord from all of them."
"I don't want to be that guy mumbling into his drink at a bar."
"Yeah, I think that's sort of the American way. And it's also the Polish way, it turns out."
"One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself."
"I think that the online world has actually brought books back. People are reading because they're reading the damn screen. That's more reading than people used to do."
"I think all phases of one's career are serious if you take it seriously no matter if you are doing high profile dramatic pieces or not."
"I went to Second City, where you learned to make the other actor look good so you looked good and National Lampoon, where you had to create everything out of nothing, and SNL, where you couldn't make any mistakes, and you learned what collaboration was."
"Well it's hard to be yourself, it's the hardest job there is."
"And when I told my sons I might be in City of Ember, they said, 'Oh! You're gonna be the mayor?' And I hadn't even read the script yet."
"So far, I've only sailed in the Caribbean. I've sailed the Virgin Island and The Grenadines. I liked all that. We charted some really crummy boats in the Grenadines. That made for an exciting sailing trip (laughs) when everything goes well. When everything goes well. When sails rip, engines freeze up and you find there are organisms growing inside the diesel, it's terrible and amazing stuff."
"I'm not an ungenerous person; I don't resent it. It's just sort of a head-scratcher."
"Half of the people in this room are more dressed up than on any other day in the year, and the other half are more dressed down."
"Parties are only bad when a fight breaks out, when men fight over women or vice versa. Someone takes a fall, an ambulance comes, and the police arrive. If you can avoid those things, pretty much all behaviour is acceptable."
"The cool part about naming your kid is you don’t have to add six numbers to make sure the name is available."