"I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert."
"I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, 'Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.' The paper I used said, 'Happy Birthday.' I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it."
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Source: What's So Funny? by Rachel Rosenblit, www.elle.com. January 14, 2009.
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