"I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert."
About Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin — Life and Legacy
Demetri Martin is a multifaceted comedian, writer, and actor recognized for his distinctive approach to humor that combines sharp observation with visual elements. His work, particularly in stand-up comedy and television, showcases a blend of wit and creativity, often challenging conventional comedic norms. Martin's quotes, such as 'I think the best way to get a sense of humor is to have a sense of humor,' reflect his belief that humor is an active engagement with life, encouraging audiences to embrace laughter as a vital part of the human experience. Through his unique style, which includes drawings and wordplay, Martin invites audiences to see the world from a fresh perspective. His quote, 'I like to think of myself as a very good person, but I’m also a very bad person,' encapsulates the complexity of human identity, revealing the contradictions that define us. This introspective approach allows him to connect with audiences on a deeper level, making them reflect on their own experiences. Today, Demetri Martin's quotes resonate with many, as they highlight the importance of humor and observation in navigating life's challenges. His ability to blend art with comedy not only entertains but also encourages a thoughtful examination of everyday life, making his work both relevant and impactful.
Quote collection
Demetri Martin quotes (page 1 of 25)
494 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray."
"I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine."
"The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man."
"A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy."
"Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you."
"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."
"The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly."
"A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive."
"When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults."
"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters."
"I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'"
"A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is."
"If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!"
"I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'"
"Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher."
"Canoe + waterfall = I don't go camping anymore."
"REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band."
"Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, 'I apologize.' Except at a funeral."
"I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'"