"I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert."
"Sometimes, when something really great happens to me, I like to wait two weeks before I tell anyone about it, because I like to use the word 'fortnight'."
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Source: Demetri Martin (2013). “Point Your Face at This: Drawings”, p.3, Hachette UK
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