"Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight. We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!"
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Quote collection
Dylan Moran quotes (page 9 of 10)
197 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Cooking? Oh we were great, you'd take anything and melt cheese on it, and the one who could guess what it was didn't have to wash up!"
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"Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, "Quick, get me to casualty quick!" while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear."
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"Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse."
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"Some people have told me that I'm grumpy; it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking children in the eye... not very small ones, anyway."
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"I know there's similar dissatisfaction in America. There's a lot of white people who come from blue collar backgrounds and who feel ill-equipped and badly served by modern economics and the modern job market."
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"The sensible thing for everyone to do would be to write all their op-eds and think pieces now so they're ready the day after the election when [Donald] Trump is no longer in the picture. God, I can't wait for that. I hope he just goes away."
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"I really can't describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it's like that, or it's like this, and that's really up to them, that's fine, but I don't sit around all day analysing it. I just try and enjoy a show and interest myself because if I don't do that then I won't interest anybody else."
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"I never really had a career, to be honest with you. I never in my life sat down and planned it. I have thought, 'Oh, I'd like to do this,' like anybody would. But I'm not the type that says, 'If I do this, it will lead to that.'"
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"In my personal life, my family makes me laugh more than anybody; I think that is the same for everybody. I certainly hope it is."
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"People do need a social license to go, "Ha ha ha," and have a good time. It's a strange thing. There's a lot of social ritual around comedy and laughter. It's a bonding experience for groups, but nobody can tell you much about how funny somebody is. Sometimes people just need to be in a group and be laughing together, just like they need to be in a group in watching some really terrifying film."
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"I've lived in the UK for longer than I lived in Ireland. I'm not worried about myself, but it's ridiculous for youngsters."
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"When I was young, all the politicians looked like ancient Latin teachers or greengrocers. They were mumbly, stumbly men with their hair blowing in their eyes, walking into trees, opening the wrong door. They had no idea how to present themselves."
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"You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going to get the best out of people. Whether they know you or not shouldn't matter for comedy. They should get to know you pretty quickly. and they should be having a good time pretty quickly."
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"It probably says something really clinically terrible about my character that I need to get up on a stage and go 'Ra ra ra' in front of people."
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"If you're talking about crowd enthusiasm, it varies. I have a decent following in Australia so I like there. I'm interested in playing everywhere."
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"The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It's the greatest circus on Earth I suppose."
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"That's a rather flippant quote "drinking and writing bad poetry" from me. I mean, I said it, but I was doing other stuff too. I certainly didn't manage the full stretch of four years."
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"I’ve always been a big consumer of American journalism over the years and had an interest in the history of it and of the press in America; how it has changed."
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"You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them."
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