Quote collection
389 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than "Where's your manuscript?" "Why haven't you called?" and "Who's your lawyer?""
"If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?"
"Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep."
"Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy"
"Donald Trump is not my fault. You can blame certain things on me, but not Donald Trump."
"I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere."
"My dream writing room would be the Imperial Library in Vienna."
"Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. The second you meet someone that you're going to fall in love with you deliberately become a moron. You do this in order to fall in love, because it would be impossible to fall in love with any human being if you actually saw them for what they are."
"You know, almost everyone is an irritant to me. I think people have forgotten what the word 'public' means. 'Public' means you're going to be irritated. It's a natural consequence of leaving one's home. You go outside, and there are people who are irritating. I'll be standing on the sidewalk, and someone berates me for smoking. I look at the person and think, but what about your shoes? How can you wear shoes like that and have the confidence to accost someone like me?"
"Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully."
"When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough."
"Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers."
"Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion."
"Humility is no substitute for a good personality."
"Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters."
"That I am totally devoid of sympathy for, or interest in, the world of groups is directly attributable to the fact that my two greatest needs and desires - smoking cigarettes and plotting revenge - are basically solitary pursuits."
"People elect the President for reasons that have nothing to do with his ability to be president."
"I believe in talent. I know you're not supposed to believe in that anymore because you're supposed to believe if you just work hard you can do anything. That's how you succeed, maybe. But talent is something you're born with. You cannot acquire it by working hard, and you cannot lose it by lying around either."
"I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws as everyone else. It doesn't mean that everyone's as smart or as cute or as lucky as everyone else."
"I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult."