"Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine."
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Quote collection
Fran Lebowitz quotes (page 5 of 20)
389 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue."
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"Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money."
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"If in addition to being physically unattractive you find that you do not get along well with others, do not under any circumstances attempt to alleviate this situation by developing an interesting personality. An interesting personality, is, in an adult, insufferable. In a teenager it is frequently punishable by law."
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"Why not have your first baby at sixty, when your husband is already dead and your career is over? Then you can really devote yourself to it."
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"Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football."
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"The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat."
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"If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words."
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"If people had gavels, there would be no wars. If every person in the world had a gavel and could bang it and get everyone's attention right away and make their displeasure known, I believe the level of actual violence in the world would just disappear to practically nothing."
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"The only appropriate response to the question, 'Can I be frank?' is, 'Yes, if I can be Barbara."
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"Life is so absurd now that it is almost impossible to be a satirist in this era."
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"One of the biggest changes in my lifetime, is the phenomenon of men wearing shorts. Men never wore shorts when I was young. This is one of the worst changes, by far. It's disgusting. To have to sit next to grown men on the subway in the summer, and they're wearing shorts? They look ridiculous, like children, and I can't take them seriously. My fashion advice, particularly to men wearing shorts: Ask yourself, 'Could I make a living modeling these shorts?' If the answer is no, then change your clothes. Put on a pair of pants."
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"China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea."
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"Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back."
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"What's the point of being young if you're not going to make new things, I wonder?"
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"Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries."
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"To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel."
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"Albert Einstein didn't care where he lived. Albert Einstein was a genius. Albert Einstein wasn't getting lost in the master bedroom, he was lost in thought."
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"How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses."
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"If you feel the urge to write, just lie down and read a book: it will pass."
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