"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
"The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign. He didn't mean to, but the joint he was smoking fell in his lap, and when he jumped up, his head hit the switch."
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Source: George Carlin (2015). “3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, p.393, Hachette UK
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